yes, the title is correct. I have done it. To think that I was only 3 years late.
To be honest it’s extremely relieving to tell someone how you’ve felt about them, even when you’re sure they knew. Because in most cases I’ve seen the other party finds out through someone else, not you.
babygrills i don’t think you understand how mf long I’ve wanted to do this😤😤 After only 3 entire school years of peer pressure, i was able to stop being a p u s Sy and tell this manlet how I’ve felt towards him for ummm a while, yuh it was super awkward and annoying the way it happened but i mean do i regret it? No. I do wish that i would’ve added more of an explanation/clarification the DM but uhhh my adrenaline didn’t let me. I do feel like i came off completely psychotic but that was 100% not my intention. I just wanted the words to come out of my text bubble for once, you know? From me, six. And sure it would’ve been nice to receive any type of response, negative or positive in order to receive that ounce of closure, but in my head I already knew i wasn’t gonna get anything from his part.
Regardless, it’s done, i’m happy, and it’s time to let this small chapter of my life finish.
So yeah, that’s a lil life update for you fools, sorry for not keeping up with this thingy ya girl just needs to breath for a while. Hopefully next time I type you i’ll own at least one supreme item, but for now it’s packing time. I’m off to LA for the summer, land of the hYpebeasts😤😤. Talk to you soon ❤
hey whats up you guys. SO I’m in this phase where I’ve been falling in love every 2 seconds. Yes, its a part of my personality, but recently I’ve been feeling it waaay more, and you know what. I make me wanna shoot myself in the fucking face. Because its like not even an attraction thing, like you could hold the door for me and I’d love you fam. It us doesn’t make any sense.
I’ve figured i’d put all of these fEelIngS to code. I’m thinking of small poem type things, no names will be featured, only letters, so none of you thots can expose me 😉 . But yeah, I don’t know the series will be called yet, I’m thinking its purely gonna be physical encounters, so that way it’ll be true ya know?
So yeah, I wanted to write this bc i didn’t wanna just post a piece with no context, what fun will that do? I think I’ll have at least some of you guys hooked.
till next time,
I’ve been thinking, and I realized that I ave a lot to say on a variety of issues. Due to my lack of expression in the real world, I’ve decided to create a podcast. For me, it will serve as sort of form of therapy and I haven’t decided if that’s good or bad. Becuase I mean basically my opinion will be available to all with a link to it, but I mean, I don’t have negative shit to say bc well….I’m not a negative person, plain and simple. I’m rarely mad, and if I am if literally a skit, and everyone’s in on it. I’m really not that easy to get mad at someone, but that’s besides the point.
Since I’m ugly, I was thinking about posting them on soundcloud because that’s where all the cool people are these days (that was a joke incase you can’t read satire). Yeah I feel like it’s more convenient for everyone involved. You see I take into consideration people’s feelings.
Some stuff in regards to this pOdCasT:
it will be entirely formal, by that I mean it will literally be me with just a few talking points, blabbering on about those talking points. Also please believe me when I say that the first couple of “episodes” will be awkward as fuck, like speech and just overall because I’m truly the most awkward person you could ever meet. Just imagine Hila but 876543235467876524 times more (nothing against Hila, I love her long awkward self). ANd most importantly I think viewer discretion should be advised because sometimes the words that I utter are just…,.just pls, take this as a warning.
Yeah!! That’s pretty much it! I’m saving for a yeti bc I’m trying to put out the best content I could possibly provide, at this time. So yeah, dassit.
have a good day/night wherever you may be.
u h h h. well I’ve been gone for a while now, nothing usual. I’m kinda mad that I always forget I have this blog thing s o r r y. But um shout out to that one person who still comes and visits, you deserve the best, god bless you.
But I guess I just wanted to talk about me??? So if you’ve ever been within 2 feet of me you would be able to tell that I have e x t r e m e anxiety, and recently I’ve been slowly coming out of my shell or whateva, and that shit is low-key fun. Like wow, human interaction is actually nice?/?? It’s been small steps like participating more in class and stuff like that but I’m tryin ya know?
a l s o, If you were here for the 2.3 seconds that I left my blog up about a boy, you would know that I’ve had perplexed feelings towards him. but I’m glad to say that now the side effects of love are beginning to subside (about fuckin time). And yeah I mean there’s still a feeling of warmth that rushes to my cheeks when I see him, but it’s not as intense and it used to be. I guess I just realized that he’s moved on and it’s time for me to do so too. (It would help if we didn’t exchange awkward eye glances during passing periods but o k)
so yeah. lots of growth towards the end of 2017, hopefully the streak can continue. I can’t wait to move to LA. things are lookin up.
lots of love,
I would make love to you in the sweetest, most enticing way because I deeply believe you deserve to be made love to like no other. I hope you remain soft, I hope you have the strength to. I say this even though I know you will. You have always remained selfless, you have always remained kind, somehow. I do not understand how someone can turn such pain into beauty. Your creations are just as beautiful as you are, that is so admirable. You shock people with such generosity, you are completely, utterly and naturally divine to the point you are unhealthly wanted by every pair of eyes, even the blind. I swear its like the blind regain their sight in your presence. People notice you in a crowd, don’t doubt that. People especially notice you when you think you are not being noticed. You are the most beautiful conscious being and that will never change. You have angel lips as sweet as honey, your voice is melodic. I have always ached and dreamed for you to love me. Please one day love someone like me. Your being is so lovely that I can’t help myself from hopelessly weeping. You are a walking art piece, a priceless masterpiece. I lost everything the first time I looked in your eyes. I lost everything.
Ok so if you watch Grey’s Anatomy you’ll probably remember the episode where the guy (Rick) was skydiving and his chute didn’t open and in the end only ended up only needing and appendectomy. If you watch the whole episode you’ll also remember the part where the interns manage to get the video and Rick is confessing his love to Sally (the skydiving instructor). When Meredith is treating Rick they have a conversation of their near death experiences. In sum, Meredith asks Rick if he’s gonna be the fool who only confesses the love he has towards Sally via skydive cam or tell her in person.
Now, I’m currently stuck in the situation where I am Rick, except I didn’t jump 12,000 feet off of a plane.
Imagine you are Rick, and the person you love, or at least you think you do, is within your reach.
Would you pursue the relationship, or simply let fate handle these things on its own?
Personally, I don’t like to confront others about my feelings because I feel too vulnerable and raw, oh, and I’m also terrified of rejection. Idk it makes me question myself.
Honestly I’m everywhere in this post, but my main question is, would I feel better knowing I’ve at least accomplished the task of trying to connect with this human, or simply letting my thoughts in my head get to me and never know if this person feels/doesn’t feel the same way.
(there’s one obvious answer, but is the emotional distress it’ll cause worth it tho?)
My future has been on mind my lately. Which obviously brings up probably the most stressful question there is: “What do I want to be when I grow up”. As a person who is 99.9% anxiety, this question makes me feel like the most insecure person on planet earth. When I hear people answer this question so firmly, I ask myself “wH a t TH e F uCk”. How can someone so young know that this is the one thing that they want to do? How do they know this? What is the secret?
Me personally, I think I have experienced about 6.6% of the world around me. Yes, I’ve been given the opportunity of being able to experience great things that have opened my eyes, but not the kind of things that make me realize what I want to do for the rest of my life.
The thing is with me is that in so ding dong doodly indecisive, and mostly a perfectionist, but only with things that I enjoy so miss me with “that your grades are bad”shit, I also am deeply influenced by the people around me (and I mean influenced in the way that the people who are around me make me think about my possible outcomes in life, so idk if “influenced” is the correct word. #SorryI’mNotUpToYourVocabularyDefentionStandards). Mostly being made up of these few attributes fucking sucks because:
- Who likes an indecisive ass bitch?
- Perfectionism can be deadly
- Most of the people I’m surrounded by aren’t exactly successful at life (But I still love you guys)
So basically I’m fucked.
But I don’t think I’ll worry too much about this subject in a few years, because by then I would have already chosen what I wanted to do, or died. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.
I’d figure I’d take a small break after exposing myself. But I’m back and better than ever honestly. Not to brag but I’ve received a lot of great news during the past few days. I feel genuinely happy, I’m mean I’m always happy but now I’m blissful as fuck. There are a couple of things that need improvement in my life, but they’re easy fixes.
The other day I went to the store to get some supplies for a project I’m doing, and it’s gonna be really fun I think. I think I’ll display it on here after I’m done.
But yeah, I mean wow. Life is truly going in the direction I’ve been wanting to steer it in for the past 3 years. I can’t wait to show you guys what I’m doing!! Life is good!!!1! Be nice (bc I’ll at least try to be from now on )!1!!
(I got a surprise for you Alex, just wait till June :~). )
SOOOOOO, I’ve currently been in Thailand for 3 months. (GETONMYLEVEL) And am about go back to my home country. *go Slovakians!!* jk. but i am about to go back and see all the new crackheads on my block. I’ve learned heckka stuff out here. Likeeee. how to clean my self. and stuff like that you know. 😉 [ON A SERIOUS NOTE] I am a woman in progress. I’m just trying like everyone else. I try to take every conflict, every experience, and learn from it. Life is never dull. -oprah winfrey. ( Ha you thought!) but yea I’ve been inspired out here and hopefully one day I’ll be making bank like Oprah ! *GOODNIGHT & DRIVE SAFELY KIDS
Hello, sadly in this blog I will talk about the most disgusting thing known to human kind. Its name is Alejandra Cueva. She typically eats ass on the daily. Her fetishes include feet, and ashy elbows. Unlike normal people, she showers monthly. Her typical smell consists and rotten toe jam. Her hair is rather dry and…just kidding. She’s actually a really nice person who happens to be a great friend. She’s a Libra, and she’s into that zodiac stuff so we always look @ it on tumblr. She’s really sarcastic, a veces I cant even tell if shes’s playing or no. This girl got jokes for daysss. She’s high-key slow and isn’t good at hearing. But I mean I guess I’ll enlighten her with my friendship. Hopefully my brains rub off, because god knows she needs it. LMAOOOO SIKE ! That girl is beyond smart, she’s just lazy and not devoted to work whatsoever You can catch her watching “Riverdale” as prescribed by me, during class. Speaking of which, I also recommend that for you, for your own enjoyment and pleasure, why you ask? WEll becuase who wouldn’t like a cutie like Cole Sprouse on their personal screen?
Anyways, I wrote this for my friend Alejandra, sorry I’m not good with words and couldn’t give a proper interpretation of your true self, I honestly don’t know what prompted you to think that I could do this. But jes amiga, keep doin you.