My future has been on mind my lately. Which obviously brings up probably the most stressful question there is: “What do I want to be when I grow up”. As a person who is 99.9% anxiety, this question makes me feel like the most insecure person on planet earth. When I hear people answer this question so firmly, I ask myself “wH a t TH e F uCk”. How can someone so young know that this is the one thing that they want to do? How do they know this? What is the secret?
Me personally, I think I have experienced about 6.6% of the world around me. Yes, I’ve been given the opportunity of being able to experience great things that have opened my eyes, but not the kind of things that make me realize what I want to do for the rest of my life.
The thing is with me is that in so ding dong doodly indecisive, and mostly a perfectionist, but only with things that I enjoy so miss me with “that your grades are bad”shit, I also am deeply influenced by the people around me (and I mean influenced in the way that the people who are around me make me think about my possible outcomes in life, so idk if “influenced” is the correct word. #SorryI’mNotUpToYourVocabularyDefentionStandards). Mostly being made up of these few attributes fucking sucks because:
- Who likes an indecisive ass bitch?
- Perfectionism can be deadly
- Most of the people I’m surrounded by aren’t exactly successful at life (But I still love you guys)
So basically I’m fucked.
But I don’t think I’ll worry too much about this subject in a few years, because by then I would have already chosen what I wanted to do, or died. I guess we’ll just have to wait and see.